More is Less and Less is More

In the professional world time is a valuable commodity not to be squandered frivolously.  Unfortunately, there is no shortage of time-wasting, mind-numbing tasks, meetings and people who insatiably devour this limited commodity.

One of the biggest time wasters is when people don’t get to the point.  When I get trapped into these types of conversation my mind always flashes back to the Seinfeld sitcom episode (http://imdb.to/1PzuQuQ) where Jerry, George, Ellen and Kramer spend the entire show wandering around a multi-level car park trying to remember where they parked the car.  Instead of Kramer (or any of them) investing a moment to note down the car’s location, which is both important and relevant, they need to search every corner, aisle and level for the vehicle.  Of course all sorts of others antics ensue during their epic search.   

If people spent even a moment to think about the importance and relevance of their point when communicating in a professional setting we would probably not get lost so often in irrelevant details and exhaustive explanations.

There is a tendency for people to admire and respect a person who is able to articulate their ideas in a clear and concise manner.  It not only shows consideration for another person’s time, but it shows their ability to have a meaningful and controlled conversation.

Taking even a few minutes to reflect on why you need to have the conversation, send the email, or call for a meeting can save you and those involved a lot of frustration and grief.

When working with clients with this particular issue I always ask them to equate their message with writing an article in a newspaper.  People tend to scan through the paper to see if there are any headlines of interest to them.  If they find one the scanning continues to the sub-headlines in the article.  If something peaks their curiosity then they can read the section for more details.  

People tend to ask 2 questions when filtering through the headlines in a newspaper:

1. Why is this important to me?

2. Why is this relevant to me?

When you begin a conversation in a work situation people will be asking themselves these same questions.  Invest a little time up front by knowing what the take home message is and then qualify it by answering the above two questions.

If your communication is an email, report or presentation then you might want to further consider the governing details, which are akin to the sub-headlines in an article.  They are the major points to your take home message.  If people are interested in the minutiae then they will ask. 

When it comes to communication at work the dictum more is less and less is more is both important and relevant.

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Part One: The Spear Point of Rewiring Our Brains

In my last three posts I wrote in some detail about the principles of neuroplasticity.  In order to use these principles to our advantage we need to consciously use directed neuroplasticity, which requires us to be attentive as to where we place our focus.

It is focused attention which creates change in the structure and organization in the brain.  The key is to understand how attention functions and to work within it’s finite limits.

Consider little Bobby who is four-years old and sitting at a table staring intensely at a tantalising white marshmallow only a short arms-distance away.  There is no one else in the room.  It’s just him and the marshmallow.  

Let’s take a moment to rewind.  Two minutes ago a researcher in a white-lab coat was sitting across from Bobby and gave him a choice. “Bobby, after I leave the room you can either eat the marshmallow right away or you can wait until I come back and I will give you two”.  The researcher then got up from his chair and exited the room.

So let’s now fast forward back to the present.  There’s little Bobby confronted with quite the dilemma.  Does he devour the yummy, fresh, soft marshmallow or should he wait and get two?  He looks at the clock.  Tick. Tock. Time has never moved so slow for Bobby as it does at this very moment.  From the monitor in the next room the researcher can see the furrowed brow as Bobby is contemplating his next move.  It seems resistance was futile.  Bobby gives in to his tastebuds and devours the marshmallow in two bites.

This same experiment was conducted with hundreds of children.  Most of them used on average two-minutes before they gave into the allure of the marshmallow.  Only about one-quarter of the children were able to resist eating the marshmallow until the researcher returned to the room.  

Years later when they followed up the children from the study the researchers discovered those children who had managed to hold out for the second marshmallow grew up to have more successful lives than those children who couldn’t wait.  These children were found to have a greater likelihood later of having behavioural challenges.  The researchers also found that as adults those children found it difficult to hold their attention and to control their emotions.

Years later the researchers at the University of Rochester conducted the classic marshmallow study again, but this time with a slight twist. This time they randomly divided a group of 28 children, between the ages of 3 to 5 years old, into two equal groups.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsQMdECFnUQ#t=132

The first set of children were put through the ‘unreliable’ condition.  They were provided with a closed jar of used crayons.  The researcher told each child if they could wait until he/she shortly came back they would get a set of bigger and better crayons and new art supplies. The researcher than left the room and returned two and half minutes later with their hands empty and apologized to the child.  The researcher said he had made a mistake and told the child they could still use the old crayons in the jar. 

The second set of children were put through the ‘reliable’ condition.  It was the exact same set-up, but instead the researcher returned with the bigger and better crayons and the new art supplies.  

Immediately after the crayon experiment the researchers conducted the classic marshmallow test.  Each child was given the same instructions as their predecessors were when they first ran the test years ago - if they waited for the researcher to return before they ate the first marshmallow than they would get two.

Those children who went through the ‘unreliable’ condition waited an average of 3 minutes before reaching for the marshmallow.  Those children who had undergone the ‘reliable’ condition waited an average of 12 minutes.  Only one child in the ‘unreliable’ condition waited for the full 15 minutes compared to 9 kids in the ‘reliable’ condition.  

This experiment showed that self-control was not the only determining factor.  It was also based on how the children rationalised the situation to themselves which in turn was influenced by their prior experience with the crayons.  So those children in the ‘reliable’ condition where their expectation of receiving new crayons and art supplies was met tended to hold out longer for the second marshmallow.  On the other hand, the children in the ‘unreliable’ condition whose expectations were not met were likely to eat the first marshmallow then wait for a second that may never come.

Part Two to follow....

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Part Three: The Malleable Mind - The Power of Neuroplasticity

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Part Three

There are two major ways neuroplasticity works to shape the structure and function of our brains.  The first is the direct interaction we have with our external world in the form of our mental, emotional and physical experience.  For instance, when we find ourselves staying at a hotel in a city we’ve never been to before and we venture out to find a restaurant, see a famous site or visit a museum.  Our brains automatically begin to map everything.  Piece by piece we begin to have a better idea of the street layout, where the decent cafes and restaurants are located, the shortest route to the subway and so on.  Our brain is literally being shaped by our mental, emotional, and physical experiences with our new surroundings.

The other major way neuroplasticity shapes our brains is through how we think.    The famous French philosopher and mathematician Rene Descartes wasn’t far off with his words “I think therefore I am”.  What we consistently think has a direct impact on how our brains develop.  Our thoughts determine how we feel and behave.  We can literally re-engineer the structure and function of our brains by changing our thoughts.  This means the words we think and images we consistently recall in our minds directly and physically rewires our brains.  

As an example, we can all recall a time when we have felt emotional or physical pain.  It is part of the human condition.  As with most things painful the brain does not want to revisit it.  It understands that pain could easily lead to one’s ultimate demise. This is the brain’s default strategy with all things painful and it shows itself in the multitude of ways we tend to avoid things.  As we will discover in more depth in future posts this avoidant behaviour only intensifies feelings of anxiety and negative stress.  

One of the principles of my conversations with clients is about walking into the storm.  This means in order to create the necessary changes we want it is imperative for us to face our fears whether it is the dread of public speaking, the fear of being more assertive at work or the anxiety of coming to terms with a traumatic event. 

When we walk into the storm of our fears we trigger the specific brain circuits tied with that event.  In doing this we put those particular circuits into a malleable state where we can literally rewire our brains by having more constructive thoughts about the meaning we give to the event.  This means we don’t have to continue to feel stupid, vulnerable, scared, weak, at fault, victimised or any number of other emotions.  We can choose to rewrite the meaning we have given to an event and this in turn will rewire our brains so we are stronger, more adaptable and more flexible.

With that said it is important to note that neuroplasticity is not always a positive thing.  It is the brain’s ability to reorganise itself based on all types of learning and experience whether good or bad.  This means the brain can change in positive and negative directions by developing both helpful and harmful habits.  It’s beneficial to understand how plasticity works and how we can make use of it’s principles to correct the runaway negative forms of plasticity while at the same time enhancing the positive ones.  

In order to use the principle to our advantage we need to concentrate our efforts on directed neuroplasticity.   This means we need to be vigilant to having thoughts which will help us reorganise our brain in order to build a more robust mind.

Interested to find out more about MINDtalk coaching and workshops?  Visit us at www.MINDtalk.no