Cautions on Hiring a Coach

As an executive coach I think it is of key-importance for individuals or corporations wanting to hire a coach to stay on their toes. Coaching, as a profession, lacks the accreditation that other disciplines and professions have. Of course, there are a few organizations out there that have tried, but nothing that comes any where close to other professions.

If you are interested in hiring a coach do a thorough of their references and education. Many coaches out there have a very limited education when it comes to helping and advising other people. You can actually find some coaches out there who have had anywhere from 6-12 weeks to 8 to 12 months training.

So over the next few blogs I would like to educate you, the reader, about coaching. There are many brilliant coaches out there who can help you move forward. There are also many coaches out there who do more damage than good. Buyer beware!

Harvard Business Review on Executive Coaching

By Ed Batista at http://www.edbatista.com/2009/02/hbr.html
Illustration by Joshua Gorchov © Harvard Business Review. All rights reserved.

Harvard Business Review's Diane Coutu and Carol Kauffman surveyed 140 executive coaches (including Rebecca Zucker, who gave me some great advice when I made my own transition into coaching), and they've generated a set of resources from the data that both coaches and clients will find useful:

• A 32-page report on the current state of executive coaching. (You'll have to enter some registration info to access the free download, but it's well worth it.)
• An overview article at HBR.org (which is included in the report noted above.)
• And a short summary on Coutu's HBR blog. (The HBR.org article and the blog post both include links to podcasts by Coutu and Kauffmann.)

A few highlights from the full report that jumped out at me [with headings added in block quotes for clarity]:

The Future [of Executive Coaching]

Coaching exists to help executives find solutions, yet the field of coaching must solve a few problems itself. Most of [the coaches surveyed] told us that coaching as a process is highly effective but that the field feels as if it is in "adolescence." Many of [the coaches surveyed] were concerned that a lack of entry barriers leaves the profession vulnerable to being discredited by charlatans. Many also felt that action was needed to winnow out bad or ineffective coaches. Some of [the coaches surveyed] suggested that an emphasis on more rigor in practice and more research on effectiveness is needed...

I couldn't agree more.

[Assistance Provided to Coachees]

[M]ost of the time, coaches are facilitating transitions either into a firm or upwards within the same organization, or developing capabilities of high-potentials, or are working to enhance interactions of a team. A full 87% reported that they address derailing behaviors, and 81% act as a sounding board on strategic matters...

Coaches reported that 48% of the time they are hired to develop high potentials or to facilitate transitions; 26% to act as a sounding board; and 12% to address a derailing behavior. Only about 3% of coaches said they were hired to address issues in a coachee's non-work life. These results suggest that the field is shifting its focus from remedial work with problem individuals who exhibit unacceptable behaviors to the facilitation of higher performance with top-functioning executives.

This shift in the field at large is also reflected in my role as a Leadership Coach at Stanford's Graduate School of Business, where I work with students individually and in small groups to help them further develop their leadership and interpersonal skills. By definition, every one of the students I work with is likely to be regarded by future employers as "high potential," and although in a few instances we identify and address possible derailing behaviors, in the vast majority of cases I'm helping students "facilitate [even] higher performance."

[Duration of Coaching Engagements]

Respondents reported a great range in the typical duration of their coaching engagements, from as little as one month to more than three years. By far the most popular timeframe, selected by 45%, was the 7- to 12‑month range.

[Percent of Coaches Rating the Following Tools "Extremely Important"]

Coaching Tool	Coaches Rating "Extremely Important"
Interviewing	86%
360-degree feedback collection	77%
Shadowing	46%
Peer support groups	46%
Cultural assessment	42%
Psychometrics	39%
Communications evaluation (such as videotaping)	25%
Intelligence tests	3%

I'm intrigued by a few points in the table above. For example, who are the 14% of coaches who don't think interviewing is extremely important? And what, exactly, is a "cultural assessment"? That said, I see my practice accurately reflected here, with an emphasis on direct interviews and 360-degree feedback. I don't shadow clients, nor I do require participation in peer support groups (although I encourage clients to make use of them when they can.) I find certain psychometric tools valuable as a starting point for discussion, but I've seen them mis-used as often as I've seen them used effectively. And although I believe video-recording can be helpful when working on public speaking and other tactical communication skills, I don't find it as useful when working on in-depth personal development. Finally, I value IQ as much as I do EQ, but my assumption is that every client is smart enough to do their job well.

[What Makes Someone Coachable?]

Change readiness and being actively engaged in the process were the most frequently cited factors that contribute to making a person coachable...[cited by 32% and 28%, respectively, of the coaches surveyed.] Many coaches felt that the rest of the qualities emerged from the coaching process; they were not prerequisites for coaching. [These other qualities included clear goals, emotional intelligence, courage, sense of psychological safety, humility, ambition, commitment to the organization, and communication skills. None were cited by more than 10% of the coaches surveyed as a factor in making someone coachable.]

Again, I agree--a client who's ready to change and is fully engaged in the coaching process is likely to succeed, no matter what other qualities they lack. And no amount of EQ, courage or ambition will compensate for an unwillingness to change or a sense of disengagement with the coaching process.

How much importance should buyers of coaching services attach to each of the following in their selections of coaches?

Criteria	Coaches Rating "Important" or "Extremely Important"
Experience coaching in similar setting	65%
Clear methodology	61%
Quality of client list	50%
Experience as a coachee	36%
Background in organizational development	35%
Ability to measure return on investment	32%
Certification in a proven coaching method	29%
Experience working in a similar setting	27%
Status as a thought leader in the field	25%
Experience as a psychological therapist	13%
Background in executive search	2%

I find the data in this table fascinating. I'd love to talk further with the coaches who apparently believe they can accurately measure their clients' return on investment in a coaching engagement, particularly given that the latest research that I'm familiar with on the topic cites the absence of meaningful ROI metrics as a key problem facing the profession. I'm skeptical of anyone who claims to have this data at their disposal.

I'm also surprised to see that 27% of the coaches surveyed believe that similar work experience is so important. I believe that a fundamental tenet of coaching is that an over-reliance on the coach's own work experience transforms the relationship from a coaching engagement into a consulting engagement or a form of mentorship. As a coach, I don't believe that I have the answers for a client--instead, I have the ability to ask the right questions that will allow each client to find the answers that are right for them, and that skill has grown not out of my prior work experience but in my ongoing work as a coach.

Finally, I'm struck by Coutu and Kauffman's thoughtful comparison of coaching to consulting (on the one hand) and therapy (on the other), which is of particular interest given my recent reflections on Gestalt therapy concepts that I see at work in the coaching process. Here's an excerpt from a table in the HBR.org article:

Coaching	Coaching & Therapy	Therapy
Focuses on the future	Paid to ask the right questions	Focuses on the past
Fosters individual performance in a business context	Tackles difficult issues at work and home	Diagnoses and treats dysfunctionality
Helps executives discover their own path	Focuses on individual behavioral change	Based on medical ethics

As I noted in my post, "there's a clear parallel between [coaching and therapy]," but "good coaches are aware of the distinction." I think Coutu and Kauffman's work highlights this distinction while reinforcing my point that "there's [not] always a bright line distinguishing the two [disciplines]."

The Roots of Beliefs

Over my last three entries I've written about the self-concept and it's three components. A person's values, competencies and character traits have their own set of rules/beliefs (from here on I will only refer to them as beliefs). A person will act or react, behave and make decisions based on these beliefs.

Where do these beliefs come from and how are they formed? Your beliefs and my beliefs have their roots in every lesson we've ever learned and every experience we've ever lived through. It is these lessons and experiences give shape to our belief system.

In my coaching approach it is the roots of beliefs that form the nuts and bolts of getting a client to be aware of what is holding her back or what it launching her forward. It is at this level where the client operationally defines her beliefs. That is, she tells me exactly what she physically has to do or say in order for to feel her values, live up to her character trait and deliver at the level of her competency.

By getting her to write down her operational actions it gives her the opportunity, perhaps for the first time, to concretely see what she needs to do or say in order to live up to that aspect of her identity (self-concept). Let's dive into what I mean by giving you an example.

I have a client who is a broker, and a very successful one at that. I asked him what he thinks is needed to be a good broker. He listed the following:

• he must please his clients 100% of the time
• always make his clients his number one priority
• he must re-enlist 100% of his client base

As a result of sticking to his belief as to what makes a good broker, he...

• felt like a failure each time he didn't score an account or when he lost one
• questioned his ability as a broker when a client canceled
  
• became stressed, demotivated, and was super critical of his competence
  

It was a definite wake-up call when he looked at his beliefs, which guided his professional life and their corresponding results.

Through a series of sessions I got him to redefine certain aspects of his beliefs (just those that were working against him) so they were healthy and realistic. That is, I got him to rewrite his operational definition. We then used my methodology to form an action plan to align his behavior, mind talk and decisions with his modified belief system.

I have not gone into specifics about my methodology or very detailed into the exact elements of a belief system. They are too detailed to go into here, but you can find them in most cognitive behavioral and cognitive psychology books. Below are a small selection. Please contact me if you wish for more references.

Making-Cognitive-Behavioral-Therapy-Work-Practitioners

Cognitive Therapy Techniques: A Practitioner's Guide by PhD Robert L. Leahy PhD

The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression: A Step-by-step Program (Workbook) by William J. Knaus and Albert

When Rules Go Wrong

Each of us has sets of rules (also called beliefs) that we live by as we move forward in life. These rules help us to play the game by setting the guidelines as to how we take action, make decisions and shape behavior.

Our rules are set by what we learn from an experience. The lessons learned are translated into mind talk, which is the internal language of the mind. It's the chatter in our heads. It continuously comments on what we should or should not do and what we can or can not do.

As I've mentioned in a previous entry, many of our rules serve us by helping up move forward and to develop. At the same time, we have rules that are unhelpful. What ever we may try and do we simply can't move forward. As a result, we may be left feeling a sense of frustration, guilt, defeat, hopelessness, apathy and any number of other negative emotions.

This brings up the question as to why some rules serve us and others hold us back? It is this difference where the real skill-sets of coaching comes into play.

A key point to remember is that rules (i.e. our beliefs) are established the moment we actually learn from an experience. This is not to say that they are set in stone. Rules can be modified our entirely redefined. This is done by continuously broadening what we learn and experience.

For example, the first time you got behind the wheel of a car and pulled onto a highway it might have felt very daunting. There were vehicles of all size and shapes racing along 16 lanes at rocket velocities. But the more often you drove on the highway the less daunting it became until you reached a point where you felt comfortable and confident. The more you experienced driving on the highway the more you learned. The more you learned the more your rules or beliefs changed about highway driving. This means your rules changed as you changed. Your beliefs evolved with your increasing experience.

Unfortunately, this evolution of beliefs/rules is fallible. This is a critically important point. Although you may have established a belief that served you well some time in the past, now in the present it is a hindrance. What has happened is that you have moved on, the world has moved on and time has moved on, but your belief is still stuck in the past. How is this possible?

The belief you established some time in the past about a particular situation you simply forgot about. Although you are no longer aware of the rule, by no means has it disappeared. What it has done is that it has slipped into your unconscious mind where it still works 24/7.

For example, a client of mine was terrified of presenting in front of people. Earlier in his career he did not have to speak in front of people so it was no big deal. As he progressed through the ranks of his company it became ever more important for him to give presentations. For the life of him, he had no idea what his hang-up was with giving presentations.

After going through the coaching process with him, he discovered that back in junior-high school he gave a presentation that was received rather poorly. That negative experience etched deep on his psyche and he established the rule - Never talk in front of a group of people or you will be laughed at and made fun of. My client and the world had moved on, but his rule was still stuck in the past. It still influenced his actions and decisions.

I will continue When the Rules Go Wrong in the next entry with more examples. I will also discuss in more detail the difference between healthy rules/beliefs and unhealthy rules/beliefs.

Cordially,

Jason W Liem
MINDtalk@email.com
www.mindtalk.no

Rules of the Game

In my previous entry I mentioned that our actions, behavior and
decisions are determined to a great extent by our identity (self-
concept).

If what we do and what we choose are in line with who we believe we
are, then we can say we are living congruently. If not, then we are
living incongruently.

What is that determines if we are being either congruent or
incongruent with our identity? That is all dependent upon how we
personally define the rules of our identity. We can also call these
rules our beliefs.

These rules or beliefs are a result of the lessons we have learned.
What we take away from our experiences defines how we interpret the
people and the world around us.

For example, I remember when I was 6 years old my parents took my
brother and I to a farmers market. The day was hot and humid. I recall
with vivid clarity a beautiful Alsatian dog. I went up to pet it and
it bit right through my hand. Up to only a couple of years ago I was
fearful of any Alsatian. I learned to avoid them. I developed a rule,
although irrational, that all Alsatians bite.

This experience shaped me. It became a part of my identity. It
translated into words where I was telling my self that I should never
get even remotely near to german shepards. This became my rule and it
influenced my actions and behavior around that particular species of
dog.

So to more succintly answer the above question- what we tell ourselves
about an experience becomes the rule by which we obey.

Your values, competencies and character traits are all born from the
lessons you've learned up to the present day. What you have told
ypirselfbor what you've accepted from what others have said become
your rules. They become the beliefs by which you live your life.

Most of the beliefs we have serve us well, but this rule-system is far
from perfect. We all have rules that also serve against us. They
prevent us from moving forward. We will get more into that in the next
post.

Cordially,

Jason W Liem
MINDtalk@email.com
www.mindtalk.no

Components of the Self-Concept

My experience has taught me always to try to learn as much I can about how my client sees him/herself and how he/she perceives the world. By gaining this insight my ability to help them as a coach increases tremendously.

In order to do this I must be constantly aware of two points. The first is to hold back on my assumptions, because it is a natural human tendency to to judge other and their actions based on how we see the world. This means I need to be completely engaged in what they are telling me and to be constantly listening to make sure I'm following there line of thinking (see 'Tools of the Trade' entry) If there is something that I don't understand and/or their description is too abstract or general, I need to back track and get clarification.

The second point is to ask designed questions to explore the components of the client's self-concept (SC) - the competencies, the character traits and the values. I'd like to explore each of these components in turn.

The first component of the SC is competencies (i.e. What am I skilled at? Where do my talents shine?). We tend to define ourselves by our talents, abilities and skills. When people talk about themselves, especially in introductions, they will tend to talk about what position they hold in a company, what they do for a living and what hobbies or sports they are involved in. Many people spend a considerable amount of their time invested in their jobs, pastimes, interests and hobbies. This is not so strange since what we are skilled at also tends to trigger our interest and curiosity. Thus people will view the world, see problem and challenges andmake decisions based on their competencies.

The second component of the SC is character traits (i.e. Who am I?). These are the labels that we've given ourselves, by other people and by our surrounding, whether it was in the past or now in the present. Labels such as diplomatic, arrogant, lazy, healthy, kind, neurotic, opinionated and countless other adjectives.

We may be conscious of some of our labels, but most of them will lie in the unconscious recesses of our mind. These labels may have been forgotten by the conscious mind, by no means though are they laying dormant. They are the bricks and morter of our identity and they have an ever-present influence on our behavior and our decision-making.

The final component is of the SC is values (i.e. What is important to me?). They are the sense or feelings we have about someone, something or some situation. The choices we make our based on these emotions and feelings. The reason why a person buys a certain type of car, lives in a particular area, enjoys a certain type of activity, listens to a a genre of music and a thousand other things are based on how it makes them feel. If you take a moment to think about why you wear a particular type of watch, dress in a certain style or the types of books you enjoy reading tell you something about your values. If you also take a look at your inner-circle of friends you will see that most likely share some values and it is these mutual values that contribute to the depth and strength of your friendship.

Whether it is in the professional or private areas of someone's life, they will make choices based on how it makes them feel. People make decisions based on feeling a sense of adventure, excitement, contribution, belonging, achievement, status, giving, recognition, respect and so on. At the same time, people make decisions to avoid feeling a sense of incompetence, boredom, frustration, embarrassment, irritation, fear, anger, stress and so on. This means that values are not only the reserve of positive feelings, but those of negative feelings. The author Tony Robbins called them moving-toward and moving-away values. Any feeling that we can experience can be brought down to the common-denominator of either pleasure or pain. The words we assign to feelings are simply a way of explaining the different degrees of pleasure or pain.

Your competencies, character traits and values make up your identity. For the majority of your waking day you are not consciously aware or thinking about these components. They are sitting undetected in your unconscious mind working away influencing your every action, thought and decision.

In order for you to feel psychology right about yourself, your actions, behavior and decisions have to be congruent with who you think you are. For example, if you feel that you are a person of intergrity then your actions will follow your beliefs as you personally come to define what integrity is.

If, on the other hand, your actions and behavior are incongruent with your self concept then there will be repercussions. It may be in the form of stress, feelings of guilt and blame, or an inner awkwardness. For example, a person may feel that part of her identity is a strong sense of commitment and trust, but one-day cheats on her boyfriend. Afterward, we may feel a deep sense of regret and guilt, because she has gone against her personal definition of commitment and trust.

So what is it that determines if someone is living congruently or incongruently with their identity? What is the underlying mechanism that gives us the ability to judge ourselves? The answer is our belief system, which will be the topic of the next entry.

Basis of Identity

As I've mentioned in earlier posts, my methodology of coaching is a collection from a broad spectrum of psychology. What I will do in the next few postings is to elaborate at a more detailed level what I do and how I do it.

I base most of my coaching on the idea of the self-concept, which is better known as a person's identity. This identity or self-concept influences how, for example, you interpret and interact with the world. It also strongly influences your behavior, attitudes, opinions and decisions. This
entry is going to introduce the model of the self-concept that I use when coaching.

Your self-concept (SC) in the simplest terms is who you believe you are. It is based on three categories; your values, your competenciesand your character traits.

If you imagine yourself at a business mixer, a convention, a party of any other type of engagement where you meet new people. When you introduce yourself or people introduce themselves to you it typically begins with a name, job position, the company, responsibilities,
location and so on. As the conversation continues likes and dislike may be shared, hobbies, interests, places traveled as well any number of other points of interest. Basically, the both of you are trying to formulate a picture of who each other is and what each of you are about. What you tell each other, if not all, fall under the three categories of the SC mentioned earlier.

When you speak about what is important to you you are communicatingyour values.

When you speak about what you do, your education, your interests and hobbies you are communicating your competencies.

When you describe who you are of what you are you are communicating your character traits.

These components are key to helping clients work through their issues, because they directly influence how they behave, how they act or react and how they make decisions. I have only briefly detailed the components of the SC in this post. Since they are so relevant in my coaching practice I will dedicate an entire post to them next time.

Jason W Liem
www.MINDtalk.no
MINDtalk@email.com

Tools of the Trade

When it comes to sitting in a coaching session, I've found it very useful to keep the tools of the trade low-tech. Having a small notebook and a couple of pens works best for me.

Conversations have a tendency to be very organic. That is, a conversation is like a tree. It will begin on a main root, but will naturally branch off in a new direction. The reasons for this are as numerous as the leafs on a tree. The point is that a conversation can branch of several times in different directions. Perhaps it may return to the original root of the conversation or it blooms into a completely different direction.

I have found it to be critical to be aware of these conversational branches and to mark them down in my notebook. I usually write down a key-word that the client has said that has triggered the change in direction. This helps me to track the flow of the conversation. I do this for several reasons.

Sometimes the client may be in the midst of explaining an issue using general and vague terms. If it is at a point in the conversation where they are still in a flow of thought, I will note down the key-word or phrase. When he/she comes to the natural end-point of their thought-flow, I will reflect back to what I wrote down and ask for clarification.

I have developed my own little symbols and short-hand to note down these conversational branches. It's necessary to do this since coaching dialogues move very fast and the direction can shift in an exhale. It allows me to move with the rapid speed of the conversation while still taking notes to move the client to be more specific and concrete.

I've yet to discover anything that is better than a notebook (my choice is moleskines http://www.moleskine.co.uk/ ) and a couple of pens.