The preparation you do for a crucial conversation is half the work,and part of that work is knowing precisely what you want to address. This includes CPR (content, pattern or relationship). That is, the behavior your addressing a single event, a multiple event or a chronic problem.
If it is a single event then you are going to want to give feedback on the content. For example, "Jon, I want to talk to speak to you about your interaction with your colleagues in the meeting this morning. I feel, as did the others, that you responded in an overly aggresive manner..."
If it is a situation that has happened more than once, than it will be
a pattern of behavior you will need to address.
For example, "Jon, I need to talk to you about your aggresive
responses in the staff meeting. I've already addressed this particular
behavior twice with you..."
If it is a behavior that constantly and consistently shows up then it
can be catagorized as something that is starting to affect the
relationship.
For example, "Jon, I need to address the aggresive style you take
during staff meetings. We've had this talk several times now and each
time you've promised you would take a more diplomatic tone. I feel
this behavior is starting to affect our working relationship..."
Although in each of the three examples the same behavior is being
addressed, it's the consequences that differs in focus. The
significance and the seriousness takes a step up.
Cordially,
Jason W Liem
MINDtalk@email.com
http://www.mindtalk.no/
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