The Roots of Beliefs

Over my last three entries I've written about the self-concept and it's three components. A person's values, competencies and character traits have their own set of rules/beliefs (from here on I will only refer to them as beliefs). A person will act or react, behave and make decisions based on these beliefs.

Where do these beliefs come from and how are they formed? Your beliefs and my beliefs have their roots in every lesson we've ever learned and every experience we've ever lived through. It is these lessons and experiences give shape to our belief system.

In my coaching approach it is the roots of beliefs that form the nuts and bolts of getting a client to be aware of what is holding her back or what it launching her forward. It is at this level where the client operationally defines her beliefs. That is, she tells me exactly what she physically has to do or say in order for to feel her values, live up to her character trait and deliver at the level of her competency.

By getting her to write down her operational actions it gives her the opportunity, perhaps for the first time, to concretely see what she needs to do or say in order to live up to that aspect of her identity (self-concept). Let's dive into what I mean by giving you an example.

I have a client who is a broker, and a very successful one at that. I asked him what he thinks is needed to be a good broker. He listed the following:

• he must please his clients 100% of the time
• always make his clients his number one priority
• he must re-enlist 100% of his client base

As a result of sticking to his belief as to what makes a good broker, he...

• felt like a failure each time he didn't score an account or when he lost one
• questioned his ability as a broker when a client canceled
  
• became stressed, demotivated, and was super critical of his competence
  

It was a definite wake-up call when he looked at his beliefs, which guided his professional life and their corresponding results.

Through a series of sessions I got him to redefine certain aspects of his beliefs (just those that were working against him) so they were healthy and realistic. That is, I got him to rewrite his operational definition. We then used my methodology to form an action plan to align his behavior, mind talk and decisions with his modified belief system.

I have not gone into specifics about my methodology or very detailed into the exact elements of a belief system. They are too detailed to go into here, but you can find them in most cognitive behavioral and cognitive psychology books. Below are a small selection. Please contact me if you wish for more references.

Making-Cognitive-Behavioral-Therapy-Work-Practitioners

Cognitive Therapy Techniques: A Practitioner's Guide by PhD Robert L. Leahy PhD

The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression: A Step-by-step Program (Workbook) by William J. Knaus and Albert